Monogamy

Monogamy, a lifestyle highly exalted as the most superior form of relationship by religious institutions, a lifestyle that is considered an outdated social expectation by liberals, a tool to control and oppress women as quoted by feminists, a lifestyle celebrated by poets, writers who depicts monogamist love stories with eloquence, mellifluous songs that elucidate the beauty of monogamy, artists and artworks that are inspired from the ideas of monogamy are ineffable.


In today's world, Monogamy is considered the most appropriate form of relationship. In fact all other kind of relationships are  frowned upon by the society. So, what exactly is Monogamy? The practice of marrying or state of being married to one person at a time. , the practice or state of having a sexual relationship with only one partner. , the habit of having only one mate at a time. , the practice of having one partner during a lifetime. These are the several definitions of Monogamy given by different people on different contexts.


When we talk about monogamy, people always refer to either social monogamy or sexual monogamy. Social monogamy refers to being married to one person for a lifetime, in other words  it is the monogamy seen through the eyes of society. So, that means if a socially monogamist husband strays discreetly, then he still qualifies to be Socially monogamist. The goal of social monogamy is to raise kids as responsible parents and in order to make the family environment stable, marriage is deemed necessary.
Sexual monogamy refers to being sexually committed to just one person. The idea of sexual monogamy stems from the need to secure a permanent and secure source of sex and to satisfy the emotional needs associated with it. It does not require the institution of marriage.

These are two prominent dissected point of views of monogamy. Human beings are complex creatures, More complicated is their psychology, when it comes to relationships, complexity is of such a high level that it is impossible to separate the different intricately woven point of views. Therefore it needs to be viewed and analysed holistically.


The Mahabharata mentions a period in the history of humanity where concepts of marriage and monogamy did not exist. An age when both men and women could offer themselves to anyone as they please. Monogamy and marriage do not exist in nature, it is purely a human construct. The vedas introduced the human invention of marriage and monogamy. The idea stems from the delusion of immortality, that is procreation. In order to ascertain the parenthood of off springs, the institution of marriage had to be safeguarded.

Science have proven that for most of humanity's past, we have been polygamous. This is mainly because men have an insatiable urge to pass on their genes to their offspring. That is male nature. Science also tells that, in nature, women always prefer strong and powerful males who can provide better protection and genes. However, this is subjective and can change constantly. The vedic system keeps a constraint on both men and women alike, where women attain magical powers when they are
chaste and men attain magical powers when they are celibate. That is, the vedas urge us to control and tame our animal instincts and better evolve as a human being for the betterment of the society.

In a holistic view, Monogamy is a state of mind when one is unconditionally in love with one person for a lifetime. It is an advanced form of relationship which is rarely found among us to its full extend unlike the general idea spread by the liberals that relationships based on swinging,etc are modern. Monogamy means, beings devoted to one partner completely, even by thoughts. In my perspective, it is a mindset very hard to achieve since one has to evolve better as a human being and be free of animal instincts like, to desire someone else or to admire or feel devoted to someone else because the other person maybe better in terms of money or power or intellect or anything . This lifestyle demands unconditional love, which means one partner should not expect anything in return from the other partner which is contrary to the usual attitude towards a relationship where both partners expect something or the other from one another.

Couples are only rarely found to be in true monogamy. Mostly people follow either social or sexual monogamy, which means that their deep inner thoughts and desires could be different. People follow this lifestyle because society forces it upon them or because they are brought up in a way that discredits anything other than monogamy. Rarely do people understand the deep concepts of monogamy. People focus on the physical aspects of monogamy and try to suppress their desires but in fact there is a spiritual dimension to it which when achieved doesn't require one to suppress desires but desire itself doesn't arise. 

Ramayana is the perfect story that elaborates the beauty of Monogamy. Rama is the maryadha purushothama who took the oath of eka pathni vritha . He was a king and could have married many women like his father Dasharatha did, but he chose not to. When Rama and Sita went to forest in exile, they were constantly exposed to the vagaries of nature and constant display of mating of animals. Despite all that, being a hermit Rama and Sita abstained from sexual activities . Time gave Sita a chance to express how strong the idea of monogamy was embedded in her mind, that is when Ravana kidnapped her. Ravana was an alpha male, the perfect depiction of an alpha male amongst humans. Despite being exposed to approaches by Ravana and living in an environment that completely defies monogamist marriage rules, Both Sita and Rama did not deviate even a bit from their ideology. The story of Ramayana is an inspiration for all to be fully devoted to one person.

So to conclude.... All types of relationships have its own beauty. I neither reject nor support the idea that one kindof relationship is superior to others ... Its just that monogamy is a kindof relationship that is the most difficult one to achieve to its full meaning .

It demands a mind of quality to be a monogamist

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